A Frolic in France

Here's the top of a cliff we hiked en route to some remote monastery in the South of France. we're back now, after a fantastic week, spending every day in a different town, exploring the coast, enjoying the deep blue hues of Cote D'Azur, and me learning to read maps.

It's no wonder Van Gogh garnered much of his inspiration from the fields of Provence, and though we missed the lavender season, there was still so much else to see...and do! We had our full of museums, art tours, Citadel explorations and nap with the goats on this hill.

Pics coming soon...

Goodbye, Garda

Summer has just about wrapped up here in Italy. The weather has dropped drastically to 3 degrees in the early morning. Hotels are closing down for the winter; tourists heading back home, and I am beginning to feel COLD.

We will be heading back to Germany where baby will be born a week before Christmas (hopefully, if he is on time) but before that, we're taking the opportunity before he comes to have a last quiet vacation..somewhere on the Southern Coast of France. You can be sure I'll be taking lots of pictures and doing the travelogue again. Have always wanted to visit Provence, and am hoping there's still some lavender fields to enjoy this late in the year.

Ciao, till soon. :)

Philippine Flood Disaster

The recent Typhoon “Ketsana” (locally called “Ondoy”) was the worst flood to hit the Luzon area in about 40 years, its damage catastrophic.

This typhoon hit the country’s capital hard. Whereas other catastrophes have happened in surrounding provinces, or farther out, this one blew in to the main city districts and left hundreds of thousands homeless. Almost everyone I know there knows someone, family, friends, or colleagues who were seriously affected, if not in loss of life, then belongings and lifesavings. My own sister lost her apartment.

And as clean-up continues, drawing everyone together in relief efforts, another typhoon is plowing in tonight. Please keep the country in your thoughts and prayers, that they will make it safely through the storm, and that the next incoming one won’t be too devastating.

In Defense of Crazy Pregnant Ladies

(Written Monday, August 24, 2009)

I must write something in defense of those “crazy pregnant hormones”. And that is, that a person—whether man or woman—will never, EVER understand what those hormones are like or are capable of doing, until that person has been pregnant themselves.

I know I would never have imagined it or come close to even comprehending the slightest fraction, until the day it happened to me.

The many days, in fact. It has been a roller-coaster ride—and I think people call it that, because the first trimester in particular is a combination of thrills, frights, and a whole lot of throwing-up.

One blustery day in April, I was sitting outside the lake here in Italy, waiting for my husband to come back from work. When he did finally appear, I had been crying uncontrollably for a good fifteen minutes.

“What’s wrong?” he said, with a “not again!” look on his face.

My sobs came first in little sputters, and then in a big long wail. “I NEED RICE!!!!!!!! Waaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!”

From the look on his face, I could tell this answer and reasoning was quite stupid. I was a grown woman, for crying out loud!—Not a little, spoiled kid. But then, I told myself, I was a pregnant woman, and wasn’t that a good enough reason for everything?? But I did feel silly, sobbing over food, needing rice so badly, and in Italy of all places.

At the time, we were living in a lovely hotel in Lago di Garda. I had the finest cuisine served up on my plate for every dinner and a buffet breakfast every morning. But rice hadn’t been on the menu for days (It wasn’t on the menu at all). I needed rice, and I needed it NOW!

…How else to do you tell someone who just doesn’t get it, that when a pregnant woman is hungry, she is not only hungry, but hungry for a very particular food or ingredient? And, not getting it can make her very, very, VERY cranky. My tears seemed the only (albeit irrational) way to express such need.

Like a good husband, Johannes promptly went and got the keys to car, ordered me inside, and proceeded to drive to the next town in search of an Asian restaurant. In this part of Northern Italy, that task was nearly impossible, and I doubted we would ever find one. But I had to smile through my tears that at least he was trying.

We ended up in Rovereto, a town which looked deserted on a Sunday, (as most Italian towns do). And would you believe it, the awe I felt when we rounded a corner and I saw the sign like a shining glow from Heaven: “Kamayan”. A Filipino restaurant! I almost got out of the car and kissed the ground.

It was too good to be true!

And then, sadly, we found that it really was too good to be true. The restaurant was closed on this day. But by then, my craving for rice had subsided somewhat and I was happy with a Doner instead.

The next week, Johannes was a man on a mission. I had passed my first German Language Exam and he wanted to celebrate. When he asked what I felt like eating, and I replied, “Indian food,” he brought along his laptop in the car so that we could google for Indian Cuisine on the busy streets of Verona.

First feat was to find Internet reception in the area. He would cruise around slowly till the laptop showed signal, and then we would quickly look for the street address of the place with Google Maps before its batteries ran dead.

In just a short time, we had found it: a cozy Indian restaurant just behind a sushi bar, near the city center. I was in Heaven, then. We ordered all the Naan and Basmati rice I could eat, together with two curries and Paneer on the side.

It’s amazing yet strange how happy the right food can make a pregnant lady. Such simple pleasures, but such desperate ones. Now, in my second trimester, I have not been as moody with food. Smells don’t bother me quite as much, and I’ve been actually feeling quite normal.

Johannes continues to be a patient husband, trying to understand as best he can when I am irrational and insane. He still drives around to find the perfect place to dine and makes sure our cupboards are stocked with rice at all times.

I have also tried to be less demanding and picky. I’ve been eating more potatoes.

Embracing Change

I’ll never forget the day this picture was taken. There are moments in life when such drastic changes happen, you almost wish you could freeze-frame the seconds just before it happened—when life was “as you knew it”, before something came to change everything.

For me, that was this moment: on that day, I stood by the seashore, watching the waves lap up in little ripples at my toes, then wash back out, only to return with greater force, the wind blowing around me, blocking out the sights and sounds of anything else on the beach.

That day was the fine line between my past and my present. It is the moment I can look back on and say, “Before this, everything was different. After this, nothing was ever the same again.”

Change came to me in a bigger way than I had anticipated. And it strikes me as significant, because when the photo was shot, I had looked out onto the endless horizon of ocean, and in my heart, I told the Lord that I was completely content; completely at peace. I had come to a stage in life where things had fallen into place so perfectly for me. I had a wonderful family, friends, career, and single life. I couldn’t have asked for more. I told the Lord, in that moment, that I was grateful for everything He had brought my way—the good, the bad, the love, the pain…everything. I was content just to be. I had found myself, after years of trying this and that, of travelling here and there, of journeying, experiencing and learning. And I loved my life as it was just then.

A crew member from my documentary production company shot the photo from behind before we moved on with our work for the day.

And then, that night, I met the man who eventually became my husband.

Today, I sit on the opposite side of the planet recalling all the changes that have happened since. I have left many things in my past, and moved on to embrace the present. I have gotten married, am expecting my first child, am living on the other side of the world, and am still learning that life is full of lessons I haven’t learned yet.

At first, it was unsettling: admitting to myself that because of particular changes, I would be forced to think more seriously about my future, to plan for years in advance; to start my own family; to “settle down”. It seemed I didn’t know the meaning of that. While many of my girlfriends had, years ahead of me, done the whole “motherhood” thing and were well on their way with 3-5 kids in tow, I was the one who wasn’t rushed about getting hitched, who took relationships as they came—and left—and I was content to know that everything had a time and season; that my time for all that would happen at its own pace.

But when the fateful day arrived, I found myself contemplating the changes, wondering if I could handle it, if I could accept that my life was still busy, just in a different way: one that involved laundry, cooking and keeping house, rather than rushing to catch plane flights and hurrying deadlines at the office.

It was like a mental block in my head, the need to embrace this change, the need to tell myself, “It’s okay, I can settle down for a change”.

Perhaps it’s something that happens to everyone who becomes a parent. You remember the life you lived and compare it to the one that you are now living, and you wonder if you have any regrets, or would do things differently, if you would rewind that moment and make different decisions.

The truth is, in embracing the changes that are now part of my life, I find new happiness, fuller contentment. In accepting that, at 28 years of age, I have lived much and loved much and now it’s time to live even more, I can be at peace knowing that changes are healthy; changes are needed.

I find myself learning more from others, too: seeking out other mothers’ advice, listening to the experiences that have taught them what I now need to know, and wanting to learn with a new eagerness and openness of heart.

When, in three months time, I hold my first son in my arms, perhaps that will be another moment to capture; one that I will remember forever. I’ll remember the old me and know that I could never go back to being single and independent.

In being given the capacity to love and someone to love, I am learning the biggest lesson in life. The waves are sweeping back in with stronger tides this season, and with God’s help, I am finally, fully embracing Change.

The 7th Stage

I’m officially in my seventh month of pregnancy now—time has flown by so fast! And to think that in 12 weeks, I’ll be holding my baby boy. Still seems quite a surreal thought.

The second trimester was easy, breezy, barely felt pregnant at times. But nearing the end of my 6th month, it suddenly got extremely heavy! Now I really do feel hungry for two, having hard times maneuvering (especially at night in bed) and pelvic pain is just another every day thing.

It really does come in stages, and now having seasons in my weather reminds me that change comes to all living things. We can’t escape it. We can’t freeze time or reverse it, but we can accept the changes that come into our lives with each passing day, and enjoy them, knowing that they are all a part of life, all stages on the journey.

(Note: The pic above was taken when I was just 5 and a half months pregnant.)

TEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY LIFE RIGHT NOW

I was going to write something about how much I hate the fact that everything in Europe closes on a Sunday, and in Italy particularly, everything closes from 1pm to 4pm EVERY DAY. It’s annoying, because that’s my favorite time to take a walk and buy ingredients for dinner, or check out markets, etc.

But for the sake of posting something positive, I’ve decided to write (on a whim) instead:
TEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY LIFE RIGHT NOW:

1. Being able to blog this while watching my husband go to work, as he races off in his speed boat on the lake to pick up students for the kite-surf course.
2. The tranquility of Lago di Garda, with its swans, sailboats, and bordering cliffs
3. The bakeshop down the street where I can walk and buy fresh croissants and milk (before 1pm and after 4pm, of course.)
4. The different clientele I get to meet, interesting personalities and new people at the hotel
5. Being able to walk around in a bikini, dress up or dress down without being stared at
6. Our little apartment
7. Sleeping in every morning
8. Italian ice-cream
9. Time
10. Johannes

Keeping Up

It’s really the dilemma of every blogger, isn’t it? You get into your blog for a couple years and get a following, and enjoy posting ever now and then…and then you open up a Facebook account, maybe a Multiply Site, or some other social network…and then you get addicted to the instant feedback.

And then, you start posting your news there, and before you know it, you can’t keep up with all the sites and how they each eat away at your time. And then, you set up a website…but hey, that needs a blog too, to keep your clientele updated, so you blog a bit there, and on the dilemma goes.

You wonder which site you should close down, or where to post what, and all the while, the actual fact is that you haven’t posted anything at all, because there’s too much to manage, and even if you think you are a multi-tasker, the truth is, YOU AREN’T!

I’ve decided today to NOT close this blog down, or move it to a different host. Because it’s become a little personal attachment to me, and I want to keep blogging here more intimate things which I won’t necessarily put up on my site (http://www.nyxmartinez.com/) or on my Facebook.
So my solution is to do more linking, instead.

· My main site will feature more work-related and outreach posts, links to other artists and events which I find interesting and feature-worthy, or somehow related to the Mission. Sometimes I will re-post an article from here, too.
· This blog will continue to bring you those details which you should only read if you have extra time to spare, (or to waste, as Machi likes to say) and all those pregnancy and motherhood things I will continue to annoy you with. ;)
· On my Social Networking sites, I’ll sometimes post a whole article and sometimes a link. The beauty of the Web is that we can stay connected no matter where in the world we are, and just a little time clacking way on my keyboard can take me back to my friends in Africa or my readers in the States.

I hope you will continue to be somehow inspired by the bits on this site, and the posts that aren’t inspirational but really trivial, well, just take them with a grain of salt. Cheers!

Travel Video Preview

Just for fun...here's a segment of my travel show, in case you aren't in Asia to catch us on The Living Asia Channel...

You can load the page,then click the left thumbnails for Pts 1-3 of "Subic: A Trail of Two Sisters", also featuring my sister Tessie.

(Note: The video posted only includes the first 3 parts, missing the end. Normally, our shoots are more culture-related, but this one is just about a few touristy spots in Subic Bay.)

Official Website

Hi Everyone,

I have been putting this off for a long time, but my husband finally made me do it--by setting it up himself and nagging me till I got the word out.

So when you have some spare time on your hands, would be happy if you could check out my new website:
http://www.nyxmartinez.com/

Hope you enjoy the surf...Sooner or later, this blog will be transferred there, so keep in touch! :)

Milano

John and I always seem to make the mistake of going out somehwere together on a day when it's either a holiday, or Sunday here in Italy--which means EVERYTHING is closed. Last weekend, we spontaneously decided to check out Parma, but once there, it was a ghost town! Hardly a soul on the street. Shops, restaurants, cafes and bars, all sealed shut.

Milan was just about an hour away, so we decided to see if perhaps they'd left something open there for wanderers. As we expected, most of the town was either on siesta, or not open for the holdiay, but the crowds had flocked to the Duomo, so some life was still about.

I never thought I'd one day end up in Milan, of all places, wearing rubber beach slippers, but the sun is way too hot now this Summer, and it was comfort above fashion, even in the most "en vogue" of cities.

It's a Boy!

Can you see his head's profile?

And here he is trying to do a backflip...

Already super active like a true Sagittarius! :)

To Each His Own

(Pic taken in our garden)

Having grown up and worked in primarily Third World countries, relocating to Europe has been a new experience in learning for me. Everything from crossing the roads, to separating waste, to health care and knowing what to expect in hospitals is fascinating.

I’m liking the controlled environments, more so because I find myself thinking about the safety of my child in years to come. I’m enjoying the top quality service of hospitals because I’ll be stuck in one of those beds soon. And of course, I LOVE the wide sidewalks because I was never much good at crossing roads.

The first thing I had to learn coming here, was of course, the language. And although I am nowhere near fluent, I learned enough to pass the basic exam which was required for a few legal papers I needed to stay in the country. That was a huge hurdle!

Having traveled around the world, I got used to the rule of “doing as the Romans do” in whatever land I happened to be. Walking the walk, dressing the dress, and generally trying to adapt as best as possible. …but I’m still learning.

The thing that has struck me the most is that, wherever in the world you are, there are reasons for people’s behavior and characteristics, and though they take awhile to learn, these little reasons explain so much. Their backgrounds, history, and upbringing play a large part in the person they become, so we can’t be judgmental of one place or the next, or one person to his neighbor.

On another note, it surprised me when reading some posts from mothers in countries like the US, they weren’t allowed to be given ultrasounds till their baby was at least 20 weeks. Here in Germany, it’s necessary to have up to 12 checkups throughout your pregnancy, each with an ultrasound. So I feel lucky to have been able to see my seed of a kid when it was only 4 weeks alive.

Tomorrow I’ll be finding out from the next sonogram whether to crochet blue booties or pink Mary Janes. I can’t wait!

Becoming a Mother Changes Everything.

Well, most things. We know about the usual weird cravings, the aches and pains, the growing belly…but what about some other stuff?

For me, it was when my maternal instincts kicked in by the first month and my stomach began heaving with just the thought of hurt children.

I first noticed this when, at about 10 weeks PG, Johannes and I were having dinner with some of his clients, and one of them, who was an Ob-Gyn (a man), started talking about how he also performed abortions, of all things. The conversation was in German, so I didn’t get all of the nitty-gritty gross details. One of the women at the table looked at me and said, “You really shouldn’t be listening to this.” I shrugged, as if I could take it.

But as we walked home, I asked Johannes to translate some of what had been said. And when he did, suddenly I felt nauseated, rushed home and puked my guts out. That surprised me, the sudden churning of my insides as if I’d been attacked by something really negative.

Then recently, I was reading a book that seems to be pretty popular right now (“The Shack”) and though for the most part, I liked it, especially the conversations with God, etc., when it came to certain details I had to put it down. And I haven’t finished the book yet.

Seems a silly thing, maybe, but I couldn’t stomach reading about the murdered child. It was just a book, just words, and yet it had this affect on me that I never experienced before.

It’s a strange feeling but it told me that this is what motherhood was about—the strong desire to nurture, protect, and preserve even an unborn life. In my mind, it was hard to accept that “I’m not as tough as I used to be”…but maybe we are meant to feel this way, to grow through this cycle of life and change and even how we perceive ourselves and what our strengths or weaknesses are.

I remember one night watching the news, and a story about a pregnant woman in prison really struck me. As I tried to sleep, I couldn’t . Thinking about her and what she might be going through, even as I was pregnant and getting good care, made me sympathize more than I normally did.

It’s amazing what God can use in your life, and the turns that destiny takes to bring you to a place that you couldn’t get to otherwise—to experience, and to learn from those experiences, what others may be going through who need your support and prayers.

I’m pretty glad that becoming a mother has started to change me.

Recollections

I never had a best friend.

I’ve tried to think long and hard of there ever was one in my past, but no. Maybe due to the fact that I moved around a lot as a kid, or the fact that I kept to myself and my scribbles most of the time.

In later years, of course, I had many friends. I loved going to parties, interacting, and on a more professional level, networking. There were a few that I grew very close to, but again times and places changed, I moved on or they did. And although we have tried to keep in touch over the years, it’s hard to pinpoint one who was actually my “best friend”.

You see it a lot in movies or read it in stories: kids who share fun times and down times with that one special someone, and I wonder if I regret that I never had someone like that.

But I don’t think so. As a child, I pretty much enjoyed my solitude, and being alone meant I could get away with my thoughts in my own head. Am not sure how healthy that was most of the time, but a child needs space and room to grow an imagination, right?

Something positive that came out of that fact was also that I think my relationship with God grew at an early age. Because I learned to talk with Him in Spirit, communing with my own heart and listening for that “still, small voice”. It helped to develop, early on, what would later become a stabilizer in my life.

It also taught me to rely on no one else, at least not for all of my emotional needs. Much of my emotional clutter, I had to learn how to clean out from the inside—and that’s a lesson I’m still learning. But not having one close or “bestest friend” in my early years made it possible for me to deal with later disappointments and heartaches.

I’m kind of glad life went the way it did. All my good friends now make up for what I thought I was lacking in earlier years, and of course, the ever-presence of that loving, Spiritual guiding Force inside has never, ever left me.

The Father Figure

As excited as I am about becoming a mother, I am almost that much excited for my husband and his soon-to-be-role of dad. If he shows the same care and concern for our child that he does for me, I won’t have anything to worry about.

We agreed yesterday that when baby comes, he will give all the baths and I will change all the diapers. That’s fine with me!

Since the first day I met Johannes, it was something special. He didn’t know my name or who I was, or anything about me. But when he did find out, and as time passed, and when all my temper and emotions showed their true colors, (particularly that I was the girlfriend from hell) he stayed with me despite myself and decided it was going to be for the long haul.

When, a year and a half later, we found out we were having a baby, he immediately announced that he wanted twins!—The more the merrier! And eventually he said, “Yes, three girls would be good.”

“You mean, me and two little girls?”

“No, 3 daughters!”

To which I answered by bringing over 3 little girls for the afternoon—the two twins from Verona and their 9 year old friend. They immediately bounded up the stairs in our apartment, “exploring” everything, and offloading a million questions all at once. Johannes raised a skeptic eyebrow while I laughed, knowing all too well that kids’ noise level knows no limits.

When baby comes, I will have two Sagittarius people in my life, and that means I will have to keep up with their adventuresome, globetrotting ways. Their need for stimulation and excitement, the constant learning and moving around will somehow, I think, contrast my slow and sluggish, almost lazy Taurean mind.

But it’s a good thing I have an active, athletic husband, to keep up with baby’s need for a strong, energetic dad. I fantasize about them in, oh, 15 years, kitesurfing together, climbing volcanoes and swimming with whale-sharks like we did on our very first date.

And of course, I also fantasize about him keeping his word about doing all the bath chores ;)

Acceptance

I’ve come to accept that much in my world has changed—overnight. When at first I thought I would be travelling to Europe for a short vacation, it turned into a long-term visit in which I got married, got pregnant, started a family and got a whole lot of change I didn’t expect.

In reality, it has meant giving up my career (for now), living in a different culture and having to learn a new language, being away from family and friends, and adjusting to the weather and food.

It has meant that my previous comfort-zone is all but gone now, and I have formed new friendships, a new world for myself, and a new outlook on what is now my life.

And I’m not the kind of person that gives up familiar stuff easily. I told you before that I really love holding-on, holding tightly, doing the things I am used to doing, not making giant decisions or taking courses that change the entire direction of my journey.

But in these last few months, I’ve learned more about the old saying, “there is a time for everything”. And I’ve looked back and seen that all my comfortable single days were blessed and filled with excitement, movement, challenge, and adventure. And it was all part of that time. Now that I have chosen another road, it leads in a different direction, but still exciting!

It’s a road where two people walk together, creating a home, making a family. It’s a journey where I get to hold someone else’s hand and allow myself to stumble a bit because the other helps me up. It’s a path that I wasn’t meant to travel alone; the one I could only go on if I let go of being only me, and accepted that now, my life and heart would have to open up and embrace much more.

I sometimes think back on what my world used to be, and I realize that then, I had prayed for this. I had needed a change and had asked the Lord to do something in my life that would bring change about. I wrote sometime before about the little lamb who calls the shepherd and the shepherd picks him up and carries him home, without any more struggle. And I feel that all that has happened. When I opened up and allowed God to do what He needed to do in my life, He brought about that change overnight. He picked me up and carried me miles away—to a NEW Home, where I found everything I needed, and even more that I actually wanted!

Now is the time for this, for learning to love, for enjoying my family and being a part of something new, something that was never in my past, because it took this blind leap of Faith into the Future to get here.

Summer is in full season, and my life is blossoming! I’m so grateful.

Learning, Loving, Living!

I’m realizing how much I’m loving this new phase of LEARNING! There’s so much I don’t know but need to know…and I’m enjoying all the tips and advice I’ve received from other mothers and friends who have traveled this road before me.

I’m eager to learn, to embrace all the changes, to take it one day at a time and yet look forward to the whole future that has become mine.

And to be honest, I’ve never Googled so much before, ha! Being away from family and many friends, I often turn to the Internet for research (hard to get English books around here) and subscribe to various parental and prenatal sites that send me updates on baby’s growth and development, as well as pictures that are fun to see.

After 4 months though, I’ve sort of learned the balance between being overly cautious and taking risks. I’m careful, of course, always minding what is best for my kid’s health, but I also enjoy the occasional cup of coffee or glass of red wine.

Exercise has become more pleasant and I’m able to fit in at least 45 minutes every day of a workout. Prior to getting pregnant, I was pretty religious about my workouts, and it all stopped when morning (all-day) sickness came full on. Now that the discomfort has subsided somewhat I’m able to get back into a daily exercise routine and even do some strength training with light weights. I’ve learned to listen to my body and use wisdom, of course.

Another thing is that I’ve also learned to pamper myself a little more, ha! Before, it seemed I never had time to indulge in a massage, a long warm bath, skin-care routines, etc. Now, with the excuse of pregnancy, and the pace of my life being slowed down A LOT, it’s great to be able to kick back and take some time for me.

Perhaps the biggest change in my mindset is that I’ve become a lot more open to other people, listening more, getting counsel, and WANTING to learn from those who know better. This is a field I haven’t played in before so I’m definitely not “running with the ball” single-handedly. I enjoy long chats with friends overseas who give me advice and I look forward to learning new things as my body adapts and accepts it.

So far, so good…and I’m enjoying it all. (--Except, of course, the every-five-minute-peeing.)

My Four-Month Figure ;)

I feel huge! Not fat, but tummy-huge. (”I’m too sexy for my belt, too sexy for my belt…”)

It’s freaky to think of what I will be looking like in December when my stomach is growing at this rate! Went in for my 5th ultra-sound yesterday, and got a video clip of the baby—though it takes after its dad and is ultra-camera-shy! Actually turned around to face its back to us so that we couldn’t see much at all. Definitely flexing the arms and legs though, and so far looks like everything is intact, all there.

It’s such a unique experience to have, watching your baby developing inside you, not feeling much movement inside me yet, but there’s something that connects me to my kid when I get to see it with my own eyes, tumbling around inside my tummy…kind of reminds me that yes, there’s something in there, and it’s alive!

The hardest parts right now are the nighttimes—sleeping has become slightly more uncomfortable. I try to find a good position to lie on my side, propped up with a couple pillows and one between my legs, and your hips tend to get painful. With my tummy growing, it takes some effort to turn over or change positions when I start to get cramped on one side, so the nights have been a bit restless. –Not to mention the getting up to go pee five times in the dark, which I have to say I’ve become used to, now it’s routine. Was interesting what a friend said about how maybe it’s the Lord’s way of making the mother get used to getting up during the night because it will only happen more after the baby is born.

Oh, and I've already decided on two names, one for a girl, and one for a boy, just in case...though I'm kinda hoping for a girl...

Free Prenatal Exercise Video Links

I’ve been desperate to get some good exercise time in during this pregnancy, though the little aches and pains make that easier said than done. And the weather here is so unpredictable, it’s been raining every day. So instead of my ritual walks, I’ve turned back to workout videos, although it’s not that easy to find free ones online.

Here are some I have dug up to share--hope you enjoy, if you’re an expecting mom trying to keep fit.

Prenatal Yoga Center

Traditional yoga exercises modified for pregnant women--great for overall stress relief and stretching.

Exercise and Fitness for Pregnant Women

I find the host here a bit boring--but for variety's sake, a video series from ehow.com

Exercise TV

This one's my favorite! I love this site, it’s got a hundred or so free full-length videos. The sad thing is that the prenatal ones aren’t in the free full-length list. So I just do the low impact ones, stretching, or modify the higher-intensity cardio and weights workouts.

Prenatal Workout Routine http://www.myfittribe.com/jamcoretraining/family-fitness/prenatal-workout-routine.html

This one has also been divided into segments—more of a hassle to stop and change the video each time, but worth doing it right.

Part of the Package

Yesterday I had one of those moments. It wasn’t an “Aha!” moment, but rather, a sinking, “Sigh…” one.

For most of my life I have been an active career-driven female, always looking for the next open door of opportunity. And I like to think that I still am. But obviously, with the personal changes of pregnancy, there are some things I could do before which now, I simply can’t.

I got an email from a company I had been doing part-time work with, and there they stated that they were considering me for a senior position with their firm. The job was something I’ve always wanted to do, and I was excited just to know that they had picked me, of all people. Of course, the reality immediately sunk in that because of my current situation and location, I would have to turn the offer down.

I can tell you that I wasn’t completely enthusiastic about writing the reply letter. Then I remembered an old conversation I’d had with a friend last year. She was a working mother, telling me of some of the sacrifices she’d had to make for her children, and some hard decisions along the way. She underlined, however, that her priorities would always be her family, above any kind of “dream career”.

At the time of talking with her, I honestly couldn’t relate. I was so independent then (it was just yesterday!), ready to pack my bags and fly at a moment’s notice, and always on the top of the list of “available” people for the more demanding work which required frequent travelling in our TV company. I got a lot of gigs then and didn’t think twice about running around.

Now, I have to look at my schedule for whatever plan and think, “Well, can I travel at 8 or even 9 months PG?” (Or whatever date happens to be the plan I’m considering.) Now, there’s a whole lot more things to consider—a whole other person , this new LIFE that’s become a part of me and starting to dictate most of my schedule!

So there was my moment, I guess it was a little disappointing to realize I’ve come to that stage in “growing up” where I can’t revert to some old ways anymore.

And then I thought, “Well, this is the greatest journey (motherhood) I’ve ever gone on; this is the best career move ever!” And I do believe that. I believe that all the changes that have happened recently are going to surprise me with so much learning, so much challenge, and all the sleepless nights are going to be part of the package…but I won’t have regrets.

I’ll be loving the gift.